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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the phrases gen Z is using to discuss love, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is interested or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits confirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely benign quirks. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane turnoffs that instantly kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {